


Leap [Ashton Irwin]

by skatewitches



Category: 5 Seconds of Summer (Band)
Genre: F/M, Past Character Death, Possible Character Death, Punk Ashton, Punk Calum, Punk Luke, Punk Michael, Sad Ashton, Sorry Not Sorry, kind of punk but not really, mostly just depressed 5sos, not really calum though
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-12-17
Updated: 2014-12-17
Packaged: 2018-03-01 21:29:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,253
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2788385
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/skatewitches/pseuds/skatewitches
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>dont pretend that you've never been sad. dont tell people you're fine, when you're not. dont con people into thinking you're mentally stable, when you're not. dont pretend that you dont have those dark thoughts when you're alone. </p>
<p>dont let a boy try to fix you. dont tell your friends and family that you're over him when you really cant bear the thought of his lips against anothers. dont pressure yourself into an anxiety attack. dont allow yourself to write that letter, stating that you feel alone and you feel numb and you dont want to hurt anymore.</p>
<p>dont let them see the dried tears staining the page, smudging your art. dont let yourself chase those pills down with vodka. dont let your body fall limp against the noose. dont let that bullet damage your temple. dont step in front of that car. dont let yourself say goodbye. dont let yourself take that leap.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

staring at the rippling waves, i felt a chill run course through my body. i stared at the dirty gray clouds that scattered the indigo colored sky, and let out a deep breath. 

this isn't how i really pictured the end of my life. i always assumed i would be at least 30, alone, bitter, had access to a gun. but here i am at only 16 years old, standing on the edge of an unstable cliff. 

i sniffled and pulled my satchel closer to me. i had a couple things that i would like to keep with me in my last moments. a picture of my father, and the locket that my papa had given me. they were both special to me. 

taking a deep breath, i prepared to lunge myself off onto the jagged rocks below. i couldnt stand the way my life was turning out. i hated the path it was taking. 

i already wrote my goodbye letter, i already boxed up my belongings to save them the heartache of seeing it. i was ready. 

"oh." 

my stomach dropped at the sound of the voice. there was somebody else here with me. 

i turned slowly, my heart racing as fast as light. i didnt know who i was expecting, but it definitely wasnt this boy. 

he was in my science and history classes. he was always so cheerful and bubbly, it was kind of scary. i'd never seen him so torn up. he had dark bags under his eyes, his shoulders were slumped, and his hair was lifeless and disheveled. 

"i didnt know anybody would be here at 4am." he said blankly. 

my mind was in a stupor; how was he supposed to know that i would come here? 

 

"you were going to leap, werent you?" the boy stated, rather than asked. 

a part of me wanted to say yes, but i couldnt speak. my lips were sealed, and my heart was pounding. the lightning and thunder didnt help much either. 

i could feel the wind picking up as more thunder mixed with the waves below crashed and struck. instinctively, i shut my eyes tightly. 

there was a two minute silence before i opened my eyes again. he was still standing there, a distant, empty look in his eyes. he really wanted to know my answer. 

"yes."


	2. Help

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the bold lettering are flashbacks from the previous night !

last night was odd. my encounter with the boy was strange and unnerving. he was the complete opposite of how he acted in school; i'd come to realize that his bubbly personality was merely a façade, and this kid had problems.   
  
 ** _"oh." he said, replying to my previous answer. "okay." the tone of his voice was neutral. like he wasnt phased at all by my words._**

**_  
my stomach felt knotted, my heart pounding in my ears. the thunder was almost inaudible as he spoke._** **** _  
  
"could i...join you?"_  

 

  
i looked down at the sleeping boy and furrowed my eyebrows. he was still here, on my bedroom floor.   
  
stepping over him silently, i yawned and peeked out of my door. the hallway was silent, but i could hear my family in the kitchen. they never called me out for breakfast, unless it was a special occasion. they knew to not wake me so early.   
  
my eyes darted over to the boy who was now sitting up, rubbing his eyes. at first he looked extremely confused, then visibly relaxed as his eyes met mine.   
  
"...ashton?" my voice cracked. he made me feel nervous and scared. i didnt want to upset him anymore than he already seemed.   
  
he tilted his head up a little, his curls dangling slightly over his eyes.   
  
i swallowed the saliva in my mouth, and opened my bedroom door a little. "would you like to have some breakfast?" 

  
  
****_my eyes were focused on the boy, the way he struggled to speak, the way his hands shook as he reached towards me._  
  
"i...i dont want to live, but i dont want to die alone." the boy said hoarsely. "i cant." he choked, finally breaking out of his intimidating and emotionless state.  
  
i stayed silent as i watched him. he grasped my wrist, making me move a little closer to him, rather than the edge of the cliff. i stood stiffly, though, as i was stunned by how straightforwardly he was acting.  
  
my thoughts were still racing as he wrapped his arms around my shoulders, nuzzling his face in the crook of my neck. "i need help, please."   
  
with my arms wrapped around his back, the uncomfortable expression on my face had softened. he was so damaged, it was obvious. i  couldnt just leave him broken.

  
  
"okay." ashton said.

 

* * *

 

i tugged on the ends of my dads shirt that i was wearing, and glanced back at ashton. he was trudging slowly behind me, a blank expression on his face.   
  
"good afternoon, my lovely dais-" my mother paused as her eyes met ashton. "oh hello." she smiled politely before glancing at me. "go ahead and sit down, i'll make another plate." she motioned to the table, where my father and two siblings sat.   
  
ashton took a seat beside me, an uncomfortable look crossing his face.   
  
"who are you?" my younger brother asked with an attitude.   
  
my dad knocked the side of his arm with the newspaper he was reading, "eat your food, tom. dont pester him." he said stiffly, taking a glimpse at ashton.  
  
i looked at the plate in front of me and grimaced. my family are vegans, so we had replacements for all animal products, and my mother made weird looking food all the time.   
  
"is this alright?" i asked ashton, poking his shoulder. "i'm not sure what kind of food you eat."   
  
he shrugged and moved the extra toppings off of the meal. "i don't mind eating it-"   
  
"oh dear." my mother started. "we have some cereal, or bread and butter, or i could make you some oatmeal? its all vegan product, so its a lot more healthy. i'm sorry we dont have anything else...i'll go grab some fast food for you, if you want?" she blabbed.   
  
my older sister gasped and stood up. "you never let us eat at fast food places."   
  
i sighed and looked at ashton. he shrugged again and took a bite of the quinoa and black beans. this caused my family to gaze at him in angst.   
  
he grimaced, but held a thumbs up. i giggled, and that caught the attention of my mother and father. i saw them both smile at each other.   
  
"i'll just grab something to eat later, but i appreciate the gesture." ashton said, smiling lopsidedly.   
  
my mother nodded and opened the refrigerator. "we still have some strawberry oatmeal smoothie from breakfast. its really fruity, i'll pour you a glass." she scurried around as the rest of us finished up breakfast. "we dont really have guests, so i didnt think to go shopping-"  
  
a part of me was kind of happy that my family was being so kind and willing for ashton. i think it was because they've never seen me bring a friend over. especially a boy. it was new, and they might be thinking that he'll help me.  
  
i secretly hope he'll help me as well.   
  
hearing ashton laugh is what brought me back to reality.   
  
"next time, i'll make sure to have whatever you'd want." my mother was pestering him with questions and making sure ashton was comfortable. he smiled wide and looked at me. he looked happy. 


End file.
